Have fun Lynching

The other day, at work, I was getting ready to leave for lunch when a woman I work with walked by.  I was in the process of slinging my man purse over my shoulder when she said:

"Have fun lynching."

Then, she kept walking.

I went into the restroom to take a piss before I left for lunch.  As I pissed, I wondered what she meant by, "Have fun lynching."

The first thing that came to mind when thinking of the word "lynching" was the infamous and tragic lynching mobs in the south that were responsible for the deaths of so many innocent African Americans.

So, I wondered, does this woman think I'm racist?  If so, why?  I mean, just moments before we had been bonding over how hilarious the film version of the board game "Clue" is, and now suddenly I'm a racist?

As I washed my hands, I tried to figure out what might cause her to think I'm racist.  I thought -- what was I doing when she said it?  Well, I had been in the process of slinging my man purse over my shoulder.

That's when I realized: much to my chagrin, my man purse has a Union Jack pattern on the outside of the front flap.  Normally I wear it backwards so that just the faux leather of the back side shows, thus preserving the Indiana Jones look I seek in my man purses.  But, in the process of slinging it over my shoulder, the Union Jack must have been visible.

At the time I bought the man purse, it had 2 selling points.

1.) It was the cheapest one in the store.

2.) It looked kind of like leather.

As I initially examined it before purchase, I did note the Union Jack design, but figured it was appropriate.  After all, I was buying the man purse partially in anticipation of a trip to England.  On top of that, the greates rock and roll band of all time, The Who, is heavily identified with the Union Jack, so it had that going for it.  Which was nice.

The drawbacks: I didn't want a symbol of any kind on my man purse.  I prefer to have things as plain as possible.  Additionally, the punk movement had also claimed then Union Jack, and I didn't want anyone thinking I was trying to be punk, since I was not only not trying to be punk but was also decidedly not punk anyway.

God forbid anyone think I should be posing.

But, I bought it anyway, wore it backwards, and didn't think twice.

Now, this lynching nonsense.

You may wonder, what does the Union Jack have to do with lynching?

Well, as I went about my pre-lunch toiletries, my warped mind told me this:  This woman had glanced the Union Jack, had mistaken it for a Confederate Flag, and had decided I was racist.  Then, to commemorate the moment, she had said, "Have fun lynching."

It seemed reasonable to me.  The Union Jack does have a passing resemblance to the Confederate Flag.  The only difference is, I'll begrudgingly wear a Union Jack man purse while I would never be caught dead in a Confederate Flag man purse.  That, and all the other differences.  Still, if you're not a student of these things, I could see where if some dude was quickly slinging his Union Jacked man purse over his shoulder and you just caught a passing glance, you might assume it was the Confederate Flag.

So, for the next few hours, I thought about the implications.  Could I live with a chick at work thinking I had a Confederate Flag man purse?  Could I live with her thinking I was an unforgivable racist?  Could I allow her to go through the rest of her life confusing the Union Jack with the Confederate Flag?

Finally towards the end of the day I decided to ask her just what the hell she meant.

"Hey," I said, leaning on the wall of her cubicle.  "What did you mean, earlier today, when you said have fun lynching?"

"What?" she asked, clearly confused.

"Earlier," I said, "when I was leaving for lunch.  You said, 'Have fun lynching.'  What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh," she said.  "You were leaving for lunch.  So I said 'have fun LUNCHING.'"

Suddenly it all made sense.  So, we spent the rest of the afternoon quoting "Clue."