Treating Objects Like Women, Man

It took me all day but I finally narrowed it down to a list of 10 VERY lucky finalists.

Uhm, finalists in the “10 Chicks I Think Are Hot” contest, that is.

The rules were as follows:

-- No adult film actresses

-- No models

-- No dead people or senior citizens – they have to be hot right NOW

-- No weird semi-celebrities that only small groups consider famous

-- No women I know personally, or have known personally at one time

I did this off the top of my head so most of the women ended up being film actresses.  I’m sure I’m totally forgetting some people from TV, music and other mediums.

This is not supposed to be a list about objective beauty, just chicks I’m into.  And if you’re wondering why I keep saying “chicks,” it’s just a bad habit, like starting sentences with the word “and.”  Later on I replace “chicks” with “broads” but that might be worse.  Stay tuned or you’ll miss it.

And now, the list -- basically in order of age (basically):

Megan Fox

Amanda Bynes

Mila Kunis 

Anne Hatheway 

Natalie Portman 

Zooey Deschanel 

Kristen Bell 

Shannyn Sossamon 

Keri Russell 

Sarah Silverman

What did I learn from this list?  Well, looks like I’m into brunettes, with the exception of Kristen Bell, who is blonde.  She is Veronica Mars, though, so I'll let it slide.

Also, looks like I’m mostly into chicks roughly my age or younger, with all of them in their 20s except Keri Russell at 33, Shannyn Sossamon at 30 and Sarah Silverman at 38, who is allowed to be 38 because of how funny she is.

Given those limitations, I think there’s a good variety there.  You’ve got women with genuine talent and intellect like Sarah Silverman and Zooey Deschanel (as far as I can tell, not knowing them personally) all the way to straight up sex pots like Megan Fox.  You’ve got classy broads like Anne Hatheway and Natalie Portman and trashy ones like. . . well, Megan Fox.

They’re also all fairly well off, I imagine, so that’s nice.