Things people wrote in my yearbooks

When I was in middle school I think I was a little more into stuff like signing year books than maybe some of my friends were. I think it's partly because I had an older sibling who had already gone through middle school, so I kind of had a romanticized idea of what to expect -- an idea of what is "supposed" to happen.

But, that's also because I loved "The Wonder Years" and fancied myself a little 1990s version of Kevin Arnold. Who can forget the episode where he fills a whole page of Winnie's yearbook with meaningful, heartfelt confessions only to have her write, "Have a nice summer," or something like that, in return? Yes, I realize Kevin Arnold's an asshole and that was meant as a cautionary tale, but I couldn't help it. I was a romantic.

I dug out my middle school year books today and started reading the stuff people had written in them. There was a lot of typical stuff like "Have a good summer" and "Don't change" but there were also some amusing, weird and unique ones. Most of them refer to obscure inside jokes or nicknames that were often the only things I had in common with the people I shared classes with, so they don't make sense out of context. But some stand on their own.

Here are the best ones, with parenthetical commentary:

"I heart your singing. Ha! Ha!"

(Something tells me she was busting chops)

"Don't worry, I won't bug you during Baywatch anymore."

(More chop busting, but still a nice gesture)

"You're a great friend. I hope to play with you."

(Oops. This guy hadn't learned you're supposed to "hang out" in middle school, not "play")

"Hi Paul. Ask out Mary again."

(No thanks. Instead I backed into her Mustang)

"I guess I'll see you really soon so I won't write anything really stupid."

"I'm writing upside down because I'm cooler than you."

(This guy was not cooler than me)

"You're not loud."

(The person who wrote this WAS loud)

"Keep up the typing."

(I took this advice)

"You are soooo funny and sooo annoying. But I like you anyway."

(Owch)

"Grow up. J/J, you know I love you. Well, in this very remote way."

(Owch, again)

"Of all the souls I've encountered, yours was the most. . . human."

(Nice. Star Trek II reference)

"You R really funny and you're a good drawer. The only time you are an asshole is when you and David get together and rip on me."

(See? I wasn't so bad)

"You don't know what you have until it's gone. Those are my words of wisdom."

(A little ominous for an 8th grader)

"Maybe we could like. . . go hay riding or something."

(We never went on that hay ride. . .)

"My dad doesn't hate you."

(Code for, "My dad hates you.")

"This year was great. Like totally for sure."

(Or something)

"Have a great summer. Call me some time you stud man."

(What's with these girls and all their chop busting?)

And the best one:

"I can't say have a good Summer because it IS Summer. Well, never forget that I am going to come by your house when you're 40 and ask for directions. Then you will try to tell me where but never really tell me so you'll have to ride to the bridge with me and then I will offer you a smoke and you will hold it forever in your hand. You know the rest. Don't go chasing waterfalls. You have to do the DARE!"

Ah, nothing like obscure "Bridges of Madison County" references. But, what dare am I supposed to do? I forget.