Romancefest 2021: 45 Years

Written and Directed by Andrew Haigh

Based on the novel by David Constantine

Starring Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay

United Kingdom, 2015

As this movie started, I thought hey -- I'd like this life. We've got an older married couple, living comfortably with each other in a cottage in the English country side. Seems super cozy and comfy, with nice routine and everything. But that didn't last long. Soon, the conflict creeps in.

This couple is on the verge of their 45th wedding anniversary, which they're going to celebrate with a big party because when 40 rolled around they had to postpone for medical reasons. This time, a letter comes alerting the man of the house that his girlfriend's body has been located.

See, back in the 60s, this guy's girlfriend fell into a crevice in a glacier. He went on to marry and carry on a happy life, but now the specter of this old relationship is rearing its head with this new discovery. He's told his wife about his old girlfriend and what happened to her, but he left out some important details, or so she learns, as he dwells on the discovery and broods about her in the days leading up to the anniversary party.

And so, a comfy, nice life deteriorates into one of questions and suspicions. The more the wife investigates, the more she finds that seems to show her husband has spent the last 45+ years secretly in love with his old, deceased, girlfriend.

On one hand, you can sort of understand. It was a traumatic experience, it was young love, it's hard to forget. Obviously, no matter how much you love the woman you pledge the rest of your life to, you'll always have something in the back of your mind for an old flame who died a tragic death. How can you not?

On the other, how alive must these memories be? And how alive does the wife discover them to be? Too alive, I think. There are multiple times here where the husband could be a little more up front about this stuff but he chooses not to. And that's the biggest betrayal. His feelings are understandable. The way he approaches them are not. And as the film unfolds, it gets worse and worse.

The interesting thing is, you don't want it to get worse. As you watch, you want the couple to come back together, to find an understanding, to have a catharsis. Maybe when the catharsis comes the wife understands the husband all too well. The tragic thing is that the husband does not understand the wife at all.