Written by Scott Cawthon, Seth Cuddeback and Emma Tammi
Based on the video game by Scott Cawthon
Directed by Emma Tammi
Starring Josh Hutcherson, Elizabeth Lail, Piper Rubio, Mary Stuart Masterson and Matthew Lillard
USA, 2023
When I first heard of the game FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S and saw images from it, I thought it seemed like a pretty good idea -- basically, set a survival horror video game in a restaurant like a Chuck E. Cheese's where the animatronic mascots are out to get you.
So, when the movie came around I was interested to check it out. I figured it'd be creepy and funny at the same time and deliver on the promise of its premise. Unfortunately I was wrong about all that stuff.
The movie's not scary, the movie's not funny and it doesn't even deliver on its premise. I mean, sure, yes, technically there's a Chuck E. Cheese style restaurant and technically the animatronic mascots are out to get people, but there's so little of that and it's done so poorly that it may as well not even be in the movie.
The movie is REALLY about this unemployed dude (Josh Hutcherson) who is trying to keep custody of his kid sister (Piper Rubio) as his greedy aunt (Mary Stuart Masterson) tries to get the kid sister all to herself. Problem is, this dude can't hold down a job because he is traumatized by witnessing the kidnapping of his younger brother as a child. Still, when push comes to shove, he accepts the night shift at a long-closed arcade/pizzeria.
After typing that out I realize I'm getting too into the weeds here, but the weeds are where this movie falls apart, so it's hard not to get into them. Notice I've said so much without getting to the evil animatronics yet? Yeah, I know. So, like... this dude also falls asleep all the time and has nightmare visions of children who apparently witnessed the kidnapping and he attempts to talk to them in his dream to figure out who kidnapped his brother. And meanwhile his aunt wants to ruin his life so much she hires a gang of youths (including the guy's own babysitter!) to trash the pizzeria and make him lose his job.
Only, this gang shows up at the pizzeria in the middle of the day when the guy's not on duty. So how this is going to get him into trouble is beyond me. Anyway, all the animatronics, including the titular Freddy (a bear) come to life and murder the vandals.
Later, when the guy can't get a babysitter to watch his kid sister, and after being warned to stop bringing her to the pizzeria, where she becomes best friends with the animatronics and builds a fort with them (seriously), he simply has his aunt watch her. You know, the same aunt who hired the babysitter to mess up the pizzeria and get him fired in the first place? The same one who wants full custody of the kid sister and to effectively ruin this guy's life? That lady. It's not so much that I can't come up with scenarios in my mind that might explain this. It's more that the movie doesn't seem to notice its own internal inconsistencies. It drives me to distraction.
So anyway, if you guessed this guy's missing brother is somehow tied to the pizzeria and the animatronics and all that stuff, you guessed right, though why and how I don't know. I mean, I do know, because the movie eventually explains it, sort of, but the explanation itself leaves a lot to be desired. I'd tell you what it is here but I'm getting sick of thinking about it. Suffice to say that it's all totally superfluous to the basically good concept of creepy mascots going on the rampage.
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