Heavy Flow

I was in the checkout line about to buy some Gatorade when my phone rang. It was Tara.

"Hey, can you get me some super absorbent tampons, please?" she asked.

I could hear laughing in the background.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said. "And some cigarettes."

"What brand?" I asked.

"I don't know, Tampax I guess," Tara said.

"No, what kind of cigarettes," I said.

"Oh. One pack of Camel Lights. One pack of Marlboro Reds," Tara said.

The guy in front of me in line was almost done checking out.

"I'm already in the checkout line," I said. "Can your vagina wait?"

Everyone in the line looked at me.

"Yeah, it'll be fine," Tara said.

I thought about the woman I lived with for six years and how she would feel if I came back from the store without tampons. She would feel sad.

"No, seriously, do you need them?" I asked.

"No, it can wait," Tara said.

I hung up. The old man checker grabbed the Gatorade from the conveyor and scanned it.

"It sure didn't take them long to get ol' Tiger off these things, huh?" he asked.