Emma Nelson smokes weed.

Born out of wedlock to a teenage mom named Spike and a teenage dad who would soon go crazy thanks to Acid, Emma Nelson has been through a lot. From being sexually assaulted by an online predator to getting throat gonorrhea from in exchange for a bracelet, young Emma Nelson has experienced things most of us only have nightmares about.

Now, finally, thanks to the 8th season Degrassi: The Next Generation episode, "Touch of Grey," Emma will experience the ultimate: getting super stoned.

You're probably thinking the same thing I'm thinking -- Emma hasn't gotten stoned yet? Amazingly, the answer is no. Let's examine the episode.

To catch you up, Emma's in college now, and through a resident life mix-up, shares a room with not only teen mom Liberty and would-be teen mom (if not for abortion) Manny, but also the deceptively named Kelly -- a GUY! A DREAMY GUY! One things leads to another, and Emma's fucking him. But, as always, with Emma, there's a problem: not enough people are paying attention to her. Me, me, me, she says. Even her pierce-tongued RA refers to her as "Blonde Emma" to differentiate her from all the other Emmas, even though she has dyed her hair a slightly less blonde shade of blonde. To rub things in, pierce-tongued RA has asked Liberty and Manny to run the floor olympics, but not Emma!

Moments after learning this disturbing news, a stoner named Dyson suddenly shows up. You can tell he's a stoner because he loves quoting Jack Black. Looks like he's best buds with male Kelly. He has the audacity to call Emma, "Girlfriend of Kelly." Owch. Seems Kelly has helped Dyson ace a test, so Dyson bestows a mysterious blue envelope upon Kelly in thanks.

"How can I prove that I've got more to offer than cute hair and a cute boyfriend?" Emma asks.

I don't know. Drug abuse, maybe?

Cue opening credits.

Guess what? Turns out the myterious blue envelope Dyson bestowed on male Kelly contains -- a thank you card. But guess what else it contains?

A JOINT. Cue serious music.

Male Kelly apparently does not hear the serious music and makes 2 mistakes:

1.) he shows the joint to Emma

2.) he acts excited that he now has a joint

Emma instantly goes into Emma mode. "You don't SMOKE, do you?" she asks, judiciously.

Brief discussion about the pros and cons of pot leads to male Kelly suggesting, "Maybe you should be open to new experiences."

Close up on Emma's face. You can see the wheels turning. Not good. It's never good to get Emma thinking. Disaster ALWAYS follows.

Cut to: Degrassi Community School. Oh, good. I was wondering if Degrassi was even in "Degrassi" anymore. But what's this? A couple strangers playing basketball during gym class? Oh wait. Those aren't strangers. Those are the new characters I'm supposed to care about now that all the good characters have left the series to try to become real actors.

So, these nerds are shooting hoops -- girl nerd, who recently let her hair down and stopped wearing Catholic school uniforms (to a public school) every day; and boy nerd, Casey, who is a NINO -- nerd in name only. They've also got their buddy, Connor, who was recently diagnosed with Aspergers.

Is it me -- or is Connor suddenly acting MORE RETARDED now that he's officially diagnosed? Before he seemed a little off, but now that he's officially the Aspergers character it seems like either the writers are playing it up, or Connor is embracing his true self.

First, Connor awkwardly repeats, "Strange noises coming from the stage!" while listening intently to the be-curtained stage (turns out it's miscreants throwing Snap Its or something). Then, he embarrasses himself by enthusiastically saying he'll try out for basketball, and instantly bricking an easy lay up, followed by an enthusiastic (if oblivious), "YES!"

Sigh. Aspergers.

Coach Armstrong also wants Casey to try out, but Casey gets weird and says he'll have to check at home if he can try out. He also gets weird when Girl Nerd asks how he got so good at basketball. Hmmmmmm. . . .

Meanwhile, back at college, tongue-pierced RA lays down the law re: floor olympics. She gives everyone a job except Blonde Emma, who asks the question that is most central to her life:

"What about me?"

Maybe everyone in Degrassi-land could pull together and save the world from a lot of trouble by simply including Emma in things?

Emma goes to see what male Kelly is up to (Liberty makes the catty remark, "Suprise, suprise") only to find 2 chicks staking out his room, looking for weed. After first rejecting the chicks, Emma realizes how much fun it would be to get super stoned with them, and totally bogarts the blue envelope joint.

"Do you wanna, like. . . blaze?" she asks.

CUT TO: shots of Toronto, all featuring forms of public transportation. I like to think this is Canada's way of saying, "Fuck you, America, we CARE about the environment."

Moving on, we find Casey in -- what? A dorm room? No, he's in high school. Oh shit -- it's a GROUP HOME. Group Home supervisor says it's okay to try out for basketball, but that the judge says, ". . . any new violent incidents, and you find yourself a home in Juvee."

VIOLENT INCIDENTS? Looks like we've got ourselves another Sean. Sean, you might remember, deafened a kid by smacking him in the ear at Wasaga beach. Now he's in Iraq. I think. I forget.

Cut back to the dorm: Emma and the 2 chicks have succeeded in becoming super stoned, though like any first-timer, Emma insists she isn't feeling the effects -- then starts instantly displaying how high she is by giggling at dumb things, which it turns out her new pals LOVE.

"You need a new nickname!" one says.

"Blaze!" the other one instantly suggests.

Wow. 30 seonds into her weed career and Emma is nicknamed Blaze. Sheesh.

Similarly, back on the Degrassi basketball court, within 30 seconds of starting basketball tryouts, a bully plays rough and tempts Casey into a near violent incident. Instead, Casey trashes some gym equipment and storms out, thus concerning and confusing the Aspergers ridden Connor.

Back at college, Emma awakens her roommate (and lover) male Kelly to admit she smoked all his weed. Instead of being super pissed, male Kelly is mildly amused. Emma demands more weed (thanks to Chick 1, Becca, thinking she's hilarious) and suggests they should all get high for the floor olympics -- via WEED BROWNIES (also known as pot brownies).

Cut to: floor olympics. Turns out floor olympics are super gay. Dudes marching with flags, and everything. Meanwhile, Becca emBLAZEns Emma's chest with a name tag reading, "Blaze." Emma, a.k.a. Blaze, then goes directly to work, distributing "weed brownies" to all takers (ex miscreant Manny turns her down -- seems now that she's seen the ways of the world she's over weed. Where was Emma 3 years ago? Oh yeah, judging everyone).

Speaking of judging, the chair race event ends and the floor olympic judges display their scores:
one kid holds up a sign marked with a score of 9, the next holds up a sign with a 9.5, and Emma declares, "I give it an avacado!" -- proudly displaying a piece of paper on which she's drawn an avacado. Super high Becca compliments her on how hilarious she is. Personally I thought it was more hilarious when Emma boycotted geneticially engineered foods in the cafeteria. Though maybe unintentional hilarity doesn't count.

After the olympics everyone is super high, and Liberty does not approve. Stoner Dyson proves he's the future of comedy by referring to her as "Soberdy." Becca is alarmingly comatose with semen all over her face -- wait, as Emma wipes it up, it looks like it's just drool. Still, judging from the ominous music, I'm going to guess she's not just sleeping harmlessly.

Cut to: more public transportation. Okay, we get it Toronto. Jesus.

Connor barges in on Casey's super secret boys' home.

"How did you find me here?" Casey asks.

"Well, I got your name off the sign up sheet. Then, I did a reverse lookup online. Then I walked to this address. Then that man let me in," Connor says.

Sigh. Aspergers.

Turns out despite his Aspergers, Connor is there because he's worried about Casey's violent outburst. Casey announces he's quitting basketball and makes Connor swear he won't tell anyone about the boys' home. Connor says he'll keep that promise in exchange for Casey not giving up basketball. Full circle. Checkmate. Casey's back in.

Meanwhile, as Emma sleeps peacefully, an ambulance crew drags Becca off to the hospital.

"What if the drugs were laced?" Emma asks.

Holy shit, she's concerned about someone besides herself for once?

"I gave them to her!" she continues. Oh, I get it. Me, me, me.

Meanwhile the nerds talk more at Degrassi. Jesus, who gives a shit. We get it. Casey has an anger problem, he thinks Connor ratted the whole boys' home thing out, Nerd Girl, looking like a 12 year old Rebecca Watson, is getting concerned.

Back at the dorm, pierce-tongued RA lectures everyone that Becca went into a diabetic coma from eating too many brownies! Good for Emma, she didn't do it after all. It was just good old sugar and diabetes. Oh wait. Pierce-tongued RA says if it wasn't for the weed, Becca would have never forgotten her insulin. Oops. Looks like it's Emma's fault, after all. Still, she wants to hang onto the weed, and her pothead boyfriend male Kelly is suddenly cured and wants to get rid of it.

In the locker room, the nerds argue about stuff and blah, blah, blah. Who cares.

Emma finds out that even stoner Dyson has gotten rid of his weed, due to dorm searches, and commands male Kelly to get rid of her weed via cell phone. Kelly grabs the weed and bolts, just in time to run into gigantic campus security dudes.

"Sorry, Kel," says pierced-tongue RA, who I'm beginning to think, based on her constantly sleepy and relaxed voice and half closed eye lids, loves to smoke weed.

Back at Degrassi, more nerds. . . blah. Guess what? Things work out. Aspergers even makes the basketball team. Yeah, right. Next:

Male Kelly packs his bags. He's been "kicked out of rez." But not college. Emma offers to fess up but Kelly says he wants to take the fall. "Do you forgive me?" Emma asks. By the aggressive way Male Kelly forcefully (and grossly) kisses her, I'm guessing she's forgiven.

As Male Kelly leaves the hall and c0-eds have the most fun ever in the background, Emma watches, leaning in the doorway, arms crossed. Wow. Even when a dude is taking a fall for her, Emma still manages to exude an "I'm judging you!" vibe.

Cut to: close up on Emma's face. FREEZE FRAME.

THE END.

Another classic. Thanks, Degrassi.