My quest

Ever since moving into my new apartment, I've been priding myself on the lack of non-human living creatures who have penetrated its walls.

That all ended a couple months ago when I noticed a line of ants walking through my kitchen. Having dealt with them in my old apartment, I immediately concocted a lethal mixture of white vinegar and water and sprayed them to death. The benefit of this mixture is that the vinegar also destroys the trail the ants make and messes up their senses, so their buddies stop following them into my house.

A few weeks went by and one day I noticed that, although they had stopped coming into my kitchen, the ants seemed interested in a spot near my front door. They'd come in, walk around in my entry way, and go back out. I sprayed them all with vinegar again, and noticed that they'd go away for a while and eventually come back.

I couldn't figure out what was so great about my entry way, so it was frustrating. But, it wasn't as gross as a big long line of ants coming into my kitchen, so I'd spray maybe once a week and they'd go away.

One day, as I was about to kill some of them, I noticed they were singing a song.

"We are the ants, led by King Antony," they sang in high pitched voices.

"I demand to see King Antony," I said.

King Antony stepped forward. He had a tiny beard, tiny crown and tiny cape.

"It is I, King Antony," he said.

"What's the deal, quit coming into my house," I said.

"But our anthill is under attack by a vicious dog," King Antony said.

I demanded to see, so King Antony led me to their kingdom, which was definitely under attack by a rabid dog. I picked up a stick and threw it yonder, and the dog ran away.

"Thank you for saving our kingdom," King Antony said.

"Don't mention it," I said. "Now, stay out of my house."

"Come! Let us show you something!" King Antony said. And the ants started singing, and walking off in the direction of a large haystack nearby. I shrugged and followed.

The ants infiltrated the hay stack, and after rustling around for a while, King Antony came out with a golden needle.

"Behold," King Antony said. "A golden needle."

"Thanks," I said, taking the needle. "But seriously, stay out of my house."

The ants resumed singing and marched away. I put the golden needle in my inventory thinking it might come in handy, some day.