Monday, August 3, 2009

An Open Letter to Paramount Pictures

Dear Paramount Pictures:

I just saw your box art for the new DVD and Blu-ray release for the recent STAR TREK movie, and it was as I feared -- a copy of the theatrical poster. The theatrical poster is kinda cool, don't get me wrong, but it's not going to get the job done on home video. Sure, every Trekkie is going to go out and buy the DVD, you don't have to worry about that, but in order to continue the unprecedented success of this film, you need to continue to reach out to the people who think they don't like STAR TREK, and this box art simply isn't going to do it:

Star Trek (Two-Disc Digital Copy Edition)

Why not, you ask? It'd be easiest to explain it by pointing out the stuff people like to see on DVD boxes, rather than by pointing out what's wrong with this one.

Things that trick people into renting/buying movies:

1.) People's faces

Audiences like to be reassured that there are human beings in the film they're considering renting or buying. Preferably famous human beings, but they'll take just good looking ones, too.

2.) A chick

It helps if there's a hot chick but it's not mandatory. Paramount, you could easily slap Uhura or the green alien babe on there, if you wanted.

3.) Explosions

If you see an explosion on a DVD box cover, it means stuff happens in the movie. People like it when stuff happens in movies. Even movies without explosions should have explosions on the cover. Luckily, STAR TREK has a billion explosions.

4.) Memorable scenes from the movie

What better way to trick someone into renting or buying this DVD than reminding them of how awesome the movie was? In my opinion, if you want to recapture the people who normally aren't into STAR TREK, you need three images: Kirk on motorcycle, car going over cliff, and dudes skydiving from space. In short, make the box art a visual representation of the sweet trailers, which made the movie look 1,000 times more enticing and exciting than the theatrical posters did.

5.) Vehicles.

Yes, this is a picture of the Enterprise, but people want REAL vehicles. In this case, Kirk's motorcycle and/or stolen car. People love cars, especially classic ones, especially getting destroyed / driven fast.

6.) Colors.

The new STAR TREK movie explodes with colors. The box art above does not. Black and white = boring and artsy, two things your average DVD buyer / renter think they don't like.

Here's the deal, Paramount. People liked STAR TREK and went back to see it more than once because it was FUN. The box art above is NOT FUN. If you want to keep these non-Trekkies coming back for more, you have to remind them what an awesome movie this is. Don't let them forget.

Sincerely,
Paul

P.S. If you can figure out a way for the box to play SABOTAGE when people pick it up, that would be good, too.

P.P.S. If this turns out to be one of those hologram covers where if you look at it from another angle you see all the cool stuff I described above, I apologize.

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